A Nutty Mom

By Lisa McCourt

Do people call you “sensitive” in that way that’s not really a compliment? Do you feel easily bruised by the off-handed comments of others, or by their careless reactions to you? What if you could learn to appreciate people you feel judged by?

Here’s the sad truth about insults: No one can actually offend you without you being in agreement (to some extent) with their assessment, even if that agreement is on a subconscious level. If you were supremely confident that the judgment did not apply to you, it wouldn’t strike any emotional chord within you.

You can use this valuable understanding to discover where you’re harboring negative beliefs about yourself. Bringing those beliefs out into the light of your conscious awareness will often dispel them. Many of your long-held subconscious beliefs become laughable in the light of day. And once you are aware of any belief, you can always make the conscious choice to adopt an opposite belief that serves you better.

Let’s say someone makes a joke about your intelligence. If you feel deeply wounded by the joke, it means you have a sensitivity in that area. Subconsciously, you harbor a fear that you aren’t smart enough. Becoming aware of that fear gives you the opportunity to examine it – which will often allow you to get rid of it for good!

Maybe your subconscious is stuck in some careless comment your third grade teacher made, or mired in the critical energy of an over-demanding parent. Understanding those buried influences allows you to take control of your beliefs and let go of old programming.

Six Simple Steps for Turning Insults into Gifts:

1. When someone insults you, take a moment to honestly gauge your personal ouch-response. The severity of the insult isn’t nearly as important as the degree to which it stings you. Imagine you walk into the office and a co-worker says, “You look disgusting today.” If you’re plenty confident about your appearance you’ll easily understand that this person has issues that have nothing to do with you. Next your boss walks by and says, “Interesting report.”  If you are self-conscious about your report-writing skills, and you were worried about this report in particular, you’ll probably have a big “ouch-response” to that comment, even though it’s much less antagonistic than your co-worker’s remark. “Interesting report,” isn’t even an insult, but your own self-judgment would make it one.

2. When you’ve gauged the “ouch-level” as significant, take a few deep breaths to quiet your mind, then ask your higher wisdom, “Is there some part of me, deep down, that agrees with that insult?”  (In truth, it is this buried part of you that energetically attracted the insult into your outer reality. Your repression of it gave it the energetic strength to draw this unpleasant situation into your life.)

3. Once you’ve found the buried belief that agrees with the insult, pull it up into the light of your conscious awareness so you can work with it. Can you recall any instances in your childhood or more recent past that would explain why you developed this belief about yourself?

4. Once you’ve figured out how the belief got there, can you see that there’s really no merit to it? Even if you’ve created evidence in your life to support the belief, you could probably also find ample evidence to contradict it.

5. Make a list of all the reasons the belief is false. For example, if the belief says you’re stupid, make a list of the ways you’re plenty smart. Acknowledge that it’s okay to not know everything. Decide to love the part of you that always wants to learn and grow and better yourself.

6. Use this list to deliberately re-wire that underlying belief, and you will forever be freed from the ouch-response to that particular flavor of insult.

If you can get into the habit of reacting to your offenders by appreciating the insights they provide you, you will become immune to insults. Your ouch-response will automatically be followed by feelings of appreciation for the gift, and appreciation always feels good!

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About the Author: Unconditional love expert Lisa McCourt is a dynamic speaker, seminar leader and author whose 34 books have sold more than 5.5 million copies worldwide. Her new book, Juicy Joy – 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self, teaches people to embrace “radical authenticity” to fully experience unbridled joy in life. Lisa lives in South Florida with her two children. For a free Juicy Joy audio program, visit www.LisaMcCourt.com.

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